7 Ways To Improve Your Confidence Today

By Erin Brown

What if I fail?

What if I can’t do it?

What will everyone else think of me?

improveselfconfidence-woman-gray-background-450x300It’s easy to nurture insecurities and talk yourself out of taking action by contemplating questions like these. “Self-confidence” is not a buzzword of the new-age sect. Rather it’s the one factor that can make or break any action—it’s the difference between “I can’t” and “I’m willing to try.”

Lack of confidence can be paralyzing, and that paralysis can augment the feelings of insecurity. You aren’t an “insecure person.” You’re simply someone who is feeling insecure. With practice, you can break out of that mindset and confidently make decisions and take action.

Here are seven actions you can start practicing today, that are guaranteed to give your self-confidence a boost:

improveselfconfidence-woman-decisions-yes-no-350x3751. Fail with enthusiasm.

It’s OK to fail. A huge part of every success story is failure. Instead of fearing failure or avoiding it all together, try embracing it. Consider each failure a learning experience and expect to fail at new things. When trying any new thing, let failure be a part of the path and not what derails you. Fail enthusiastically and keep going.

2. Practice saying what you mean.

Do you find yourself saying “yes” when you want to say “no?” Do you feel like you get walked on, or don't get taken seriously, because you don’t stand up for yourself? Practice saying what you really mean. It can be scary. Start small if you need to. For example, politely let the barista know when your coffee order is wrong instead of walking away bummed about it. Say “no” to volunteering if you really don’t have time for it. Little honest statements make the bigger ones easier. Practice saying what you mean, everyday.

improveselfconfidence-dressthepart-450x3003. Dress the part.

There is no “right way” to dress the part. However, feeling confident in your skin helps you feel confident in your life. For some that might mean putting on your power heels and red lipstick before a meeting. For others that might mean wearing your comfiest basketball shorts when going in for a new lifting PR. Whatever the occasion, and whatever makes you feel your best, dress the part as a way to tell yourself “you got this.”

4. Set a small goal.

Big goals are overwhelming for most people. Break them into smaller goals that set you up to take the first step, and many more small steps, toward those bigger goals. This allows you to identify a starting point and gives you multiple opportunities to succeed along the way. If you want to run a marathon, set the goal of running three miles and go from there. Does running three miles still feel overwhelming? Start with a goal of running one mile. If your goal is to go back to school, start by researching programs. Just start. Accomplishing small goals offers large boosts in self-esteem.

improveselfconfidence-woman-demons-450x3005. Change your “worst case scenario” mantra.

Instead of constantly looking toward “the worst thing that can possibly happen” with any decision or action, focus on your amazing ability to have made it this far. Whenever I find myself creating stories about all the bad things that can happen, I back up and change the story. I tell myself, “I am fully capable of handling difficult outcomes.” The stories we have made up about ourselves have so much power to either propel us toward action or paralyze us and keep us from moving forward with confidence. You have handled all the difficult outcomes of your life to date. Tell yourself you can handle hard things and move forward accordingly.

6. Give yourself pep talks.

Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. Instead of kicking yourself or second guessing every action, give yourself a pep talk. I recently had a scary phone call wherein I had to ask for something big from a company. The outcome of the conversation was to have major implications for my life. Before making the call I literally stood in my kitchen telling myself, “I am assertive, I am confident, I can ask for what I want.” I said this to myself over and over and then I made the call. The outcome was great, but most of all, I felt ready. I talked to myself the way I would a friend instead of the way I would an enemy. Friends are great for this, but you have you. You deserve pep talks from you.

improveselfconfidence-excellentwork-goldstar-450x3007. Celebrate success.

Celebrate any and all successes. Did you accomplish a small goal? High five yourself! Did you talk yourself through a difficult task? Congratulations! Did you try something and fail? Way to try! You have the courage to try again! How amazing of you! This may be borderline ridiculous, but I go so far as to give myself “gold star” stickers when I tackle my to-do list. No one is out here high-fiving me for doing laundry, so I do that for myself! Celebrate when you tackle something new, and let your confidence shine!

Do you struggle with body image? Have you ever…

  • Felt anxious about clothes shopping or wearing certain clothes?
  • Dreaded going to an event (like a reunion or a wedding) — or even skipped the event altogether — because you felt too self-conscious about how you looked?
  • Found yourself not wanting to be in pictures or videos, or hiding behind other people in the picture to shield your body?
  • Scrolled through social media and felt worse and worse as you went?

If these sound familiar to you, you are not alone.

Based on our years of experience working with and talking to women — and going through our own body image struggles — we designed this free course to help you start improving your body image immediately and give you the tools you need to finally feel good in your own skin.

Get started today

Body Image Freedom: Revolutionize Your Body Image in Just 5 Days

Bust through negative beliefs, change your mindset, and start feeling awesome in your own skin with this information-packed 5-day course.

This free course includes videos, downloadable tools & resources, and podcast version so you can learn on the go.

About the author:  Erin Brown

Erin Brown is a writer, speaker, feminist, and activist. Her work focuses on women and autonomy, which includes sharing her personal narrative and helping women own the power of their voice. Erin is the author of Showing All The Way Up: A Guide To Confidence and As Is: A 21 day practice for finding a home and peace in your skin. Learn more about Erin on her website and connect with her on Facebook or Twitter.

More Resources

envelope-oclosechevron-upchevron-downbookmark-otwitterfacebookchainbars linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram