You really, truly are. Whatever it is you’re doing. Whatever it is you’re not doing. Please know that you’re doing a good job.
Mama, you’re doing a good job, if you:
Are breastfeeding twice a day, twenty times a day, or zero times a day.
Didn’t try to breastfeed or are nursing a three-year old.
Saw the lactation consultant, revised the lip and tongue ties, nursed and pumped around the clock and breastfeeding was still a struggle.
Had an unmedicated birth, a C-section under anesthesia, or any variation of childbirth.
Are feeding your baby.
Are using donor milk because your supply is low.
Are using formula for some feeds of the day or every feed of the day.
Are bed sharing, co-sleeping, or putting your baby in their own room from Day 1.
Are wearing in your baby in a carrier for 12 hours a day.
Are never wearing your baby in a carrier.
Using disposable diapers.
Using cloth diapers.
Are a crunchy mom or not even a little bit of a crunchy mom.
Are sleeping with your baby on your chest because it’s the only way they’ll ever sleep.
Are exhausted, on edge, anxious, or feeling depressed.
Are having a harder time figuring out this mom gig than you expected to.
Are feeling like your marriage is nothing like it used to be, and you kind of hate it.
Are feeling like you’re living in a different body that you don’t even recognize or understand.
Are feeling like you’ll never feel like you.
Are feeling like you made a mistake by having a baby.
Are feeding your kid all organic, GMO-free, and grass-fed everything.
Are feeding your kid whatever the hell it is they will actually eat at mealtime.
Are rocking or holding your baby every time they wake in the night, even though the book said not to do that.
Are nursing your baby to sleep for every nap and at night, even though the book said not to do that.
Have no idea how to swaddle, change a diaper, or dress a newborn in the right amount of layers.
Feel your baby’s chest to make sure they’re breathing whenever they sleep.
Put your baby to sleep on their stomach because that is the only way they stay asleep.
Had to have antibiotics during labor, birth, or while breastfeeding.
Had a birth experience that went nothing like you hoped it would, and you’re struggling to process it.
Wish you could give your baby back, even for 24 hours, so you could live your old life again for a minute.
Are working full-time and only see your baby for an hour at night.
Are working at home and constantly struggle with getting anything done.
If bedtime was a two-hour process and you’re losing it. If you drink a glass of wine before or during a nursing session.
Worry every time you leave the baby with someone else, even your partner.
Feel like the mom guilt is crushing.
Enjoy leaving your baby to go to work, or do anything on your own, for that matter.
Wish you could skip this phase and get to the next one.
Have a newborn and dread going into another sleepless night.
Feel terrible for your toddler who’s having a hard time with the addition of a newborn to the family.
Doing your best, even when it’s not pretty or perfect.
Find yourself saying “No!”, “Don’t do that”, or “STOP!” a million times a day.
Go to school drop-off and pick-up wearing the same pajamas.
Wonder how that other mom looks so put together and has time to do all the things.
Like doing your hair, makeup, and putting real clothes on to go to the park or PTA meeting.
Get a babysitter so you can go out for weekly date nights with your partner.
Haven’t left your toddler overnight since they were born.
Feel like you are ready to start putting more energy back into yourself, are ready to take more time back for yourself, and are ready to give less of yourself to everyone else.
Mamas: we’re not all meant to parent the same. We’re not all meant to follow the books to a T. We’re not meant to have it all figured out. Ever.
Whatever season of mom-ing you’re in right now, you’re rocking it. Even if it doesn’t feel like it. If you’re reading this, you’re showing up. And, if you’re showing up however you can today, know that
you’re doing a great job, mama.
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